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Dementia Torches
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Real-world Insights
Dementia Torch Library
Our Dementia Torches Library brings together essential insights and practical direction for families navigating uncertainty. Each Torch shines a light on the questions, decisions, and fears families face, helping you understand what’s happening. These are your first steps toward navigating dementia with confidence.
When Swallowing Changes in Dementia: Understanding Dysphagia, the Brain, and the Body
Swallowing is controlled by the brain, not the throat. Although swallowing appears simple, it is one of the most complex neurological processes the body performs. It requires multiple brain regions to work together to recognise food and fluid, initiate the swallowing reflex, protect the airway, and coordinate over 30 muscles in a precise and timed sequence.
What Does a DNR Really Mean — And When Does Care Actually Stop?
What a DNACPR Legally Means
A DNACPR is a clinical decision relating to one specific intervention only:
If a person’s heart or breathing stops, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) will not be attempted.
It does not extend beyond this.
UK guidance is explicit:
A DNACPR decision applies only to CPR
It does not mean that other care or treatment will be stopped
The person should continue to receive all appropriate care and support.
Why Families carry the cost when clinicians don’t say it directly
In dementia care, clinical responsibility does not end at diagnosis. It extends into how the realities of the condition are communicated to the person who must live with them.
Yet in many cases, these conclusions are explained clearly to families while the person living with dementia receives a softened, delayed, or indirect version of the same information — or sometimes none at all.
Leaving After a Visit: Why It Feels Like Abandonment — and How to Say Goodbye Without Causing Distress
One of the most difficult moments families face after a loved one moves into a care home is not the first visit.
It is the moment they have to leave.
Many families describe the same experience. The visit goes well. The person seems calm, perhaps even settled. Then the time comes to say goodbye. Suddenly the person becomes anxious, asks where you are going, or insists on coming with you.
When They Won’t Drink Water: Dehydration in Dementia
Families often say the same thing:
“He just refuses to drink.” “She won’t touch the water.” “I keep putting drinks in front of her but nothing changes.”
From the outside it can look like resistance. In dementia, it is usually something very different, it is often a change in how the brain recognises thirst.
Why Bathrooms Become Confusing in Dementia
Families are often puzzled when a loved one suddenly begins avoiding the bathroom. A person who previously managed washing, toileting, and personal care without difficulty may become hesitant to enter the room. Some pause at the doorway and refuse to step inside. Others appear anxious or disoriented once they are in the space.
When Taste Changes in Dementia: Why Sweet Foods Often Become the Only Foods Accepted
A moment families often find confusing is when a person who once enjoyed balanced meals suddenly begins refusing most foods — yet will happily eat biscuits, cake, or anything sweet.
It can look like stubbornness. It can look like preference. It can even look like regression. But what is changing is not their attitude toward food; It is the brain’s ability to experience taste itself.
When Friends Slowly Stop Visiting — and How to Help Them Stay Connected
One of the changes families often describe after a dementia diagnosis is the gradual quiet that begins to form around the person.
Friends who once visited regularly begin to appear less often. Conversations shorten. Invitations become infrequent. Messages that once came easily start to disappear.
This shift rarely happens because people no longer care. It usually happens because people no longer feel confident about how to behave.
When Behaviour Becomes the Brain’s Last Reliable Signal
In dementia care, we often describe behaviour as communication. Sometimes it is seen as an expression of unmet needs, distress, fear, or confusion. These interpretations can be helpful, but they do not fully explain why behaviour becomes such a dominant form of expression as dementia progresses.
To understand that shift, we need to look at how the brain itself changes.
When the Carer Changes, the World Changes for Someone with Dementia
The relationship between a carer and a person living with dementia is not a “nice extra.” It is the foundation of how that person experiences their world.
When the brain begins to change, it no longer relies on logic to navigate the day. It relies on familiarity, repetition, and emotional recognition. The face it sees, the voice it hears, the way something is done—these become anchors. Not preferences. Anchors.
When “Wandering” Is Really About Autonomy — Not Risk
We call it wandering. As if movement is a symptom. As if walking has become a behavioural problem that needs correcting.
But the uncomfortable truth is this:
Movement often becomes “wandering” when it stops being convenient for everyone else.
Why Red Plates and Cups Can Increase Eating and Drinking in Dementia
In dementia, changes in eating and drinking are often misunderstood as appetite loss, refusal, or behavioural change. In reality, the difficulty frequently begins much earlier
Are baby dolls and soft toy animals good for people living with dementia?
Yes — and here’s why they can be especially powerful during sundowning
When the Carer Stays Behind: The Grief Nobody Prepares You For
There is a moment in dementia care that rarely gets spoken about. It doesn’t happen at diagnosis. It doesn’t happen at death. It happens in between — when a loved one is moved into a care home, and the person who has been caring for them goes home alone.
“Nothing has changed in our house… so why does it suddenly feel unsafe?”
The home hasn’t changed. And yet, for someone living with dementia, the way the brain interprets that space has. What once felt familiar can slowly begin to feel confusing, unpredictable, or even threatening.
Low Light, Dementia & “Stop–Start” Walking
Have you ever noticed this?
Your loved one is walking… and then suddenly they stop. Then they start again. Then they stop again.
When Evening Feels Like a Threat: Understanding Sundowning in Dementia
Sundowning can be a distressing experience that families face in dementia care, not because it lasts all day, but because it arrives with such force at a time when everyone is already running on empty. For a person living with dementia, evening can feel like the moment everything becomes unstable.
When Someone Won’t Use the Toilet: Dementia, Lost Cues, and the Missing “Steps”
A person may shift constantly in their chair, stand up repeatedly, pace around the room, or look as if they are searching for something — yet when you guide them toward the bathroom, they either refuse, look blank, or wander away again as if they don’t know what they’re looking for.
Let’s Dance Dementia
Scientific research suggests that dancing and dance-based activities have positive effects on brain health and may be associated with a lower risk of dementia and improved cognitive function.
Should You Tell Someone They Have Dementia? (And What If They Don’t Believe It?)
A difficult moment for families is not the diagnosis itself, but what comes after it. The question usually arrives quietly at first, then with panic: “When do I tell them?” or “How do I tell them?” and sometimes even, “Do I tell them at all?”
Why taking control escalates behaviour — even when your intention is to help
Families describe the point where they stepped in to “stop something” and unknowingly made the situation worse. The intention is almost always protective. A partner wants to prevent distress, danger, or escalation. Yet instead of calming the situation, their action triggers anger, resistance, or even aggression.
Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD): “They’re not the same person anymore…”
“He’s become cold or rude.” “It’s like the filter is gone.” “She says things she never would have said.” “They don’t seem to care how it affects us.” “They’ve lost motivation and interest in everyone.” “They’re impulsive… inappropriate.” “They’ve changed with food and seem obsessed with sweets.”
When Behaviour Becomes a Language — and We Keep Responding Like It’s Noise
In dementia care, we often say that behaviour is communication. It sounds compassionate. It sounds informed. But it is incomplete — and in that incompleteness, harm quietly persists.
Behaviour is not merely communication. It is a language. And like any language, when it is misunderstood, dismissed, or punished, the consequences are profound.
When Behaviour Communication Becomes a Language
We understand behaviour as a language that must be learned, interpreted, and responded to with fluency if care is to be truly person-led and holistic in practice.
Shadowing: When your presence becomes the anchor to safety
When a person living with dementia follows closely, this Torch explains what shadowing means.
When numbers still work but words don’t: what the dementia brain is actually doing
If the brain is “failing,” how can calculations still be correct while language is not? This is where understanding the Launex Dementia Brain Map™ changes everything.
When television becomes real: why the dementia brain crosses the boundary
A distressing moment for families is when a person living with dementia reacts to television as if it is happening in real life.
Alzheimer’s or Dementia?
“Is this dementia… or something else entirely?
And does getting it wrong change what happens next?”
Early Warning Signs of Dementia
“When are changes just ageing — and when are they the first signs you can’t ignore?
The difference matters more than most families realise.”
What to Ask the GP if You Suspect Dementia
“A 10-minute appointment won’t cover what you truly need to ask.
One missed question can delay support when it matters most.”
After a Dementia Diagnosis: First Steps For Families
“Shock, fear, relief — it all hits at once.
But what should actually happen in the first days and weeks?”
First Steps After a Dementia Diagnosis: Practical Actions To Take Now
“A diagnosis changes everything — but what should you actually do next?
These early steps shape the whole journey ahead.”
Choosing the Right Dementia Care
“Do you really know what ‘good care’ looks like — beyond brochures and promises?
The smallest detail can change your family’s entire experience.”
Your Rights In Dementia Care
“Most families don’t know their rights — until something goes wrong.
Understanding them early protects everyone involved.”.
Paying for Dementia Care: Financial Planning & Protecting Family Assets
“Care costs build quietly — then suddenly.
Knowing what to plan for now prevents crisis later.”
Why Home Matters
“Home is more than a place: it’s identity, safety, and belonging.
Home is probably the final chapter of life lived on their own terms.”
From Home Care to a Care Home: Knowing the Right Time in Dementia
“When is staying home no longer safe?
And how do you make that call without guilt swallowing you?”
Coping With Dementia – Emotional Resilience
“Why does it feel like you should cope alone?
And how do you keep going when exhaustion becomes the norm?”
Dementia Care & Understanding: A Family & LDCS Pathway
These Torches raise the important questions.
For deeper understanding and support through the dementia journey, explore the full course and our specialised training pathways.